Long are the days when my kids would have perfectly matched outfits, socks and accessories to complement. When the boys were little I used to stress over what they’d wear the next day and even pack for events in advance just so that even their PJ’s would be in model form when we went out. I made them little reflections of who I wanted them to be, even spent more on their wardrobes then I could ever imagine for my own.
I still could put all of my energy into styling them, I literally have a passion for tiny duds but the truth is they won’t have it. Both of my boys have grown up and steered far away from the perfectly matched outfits I used to take pride in composing – perhaps on purpose because let’s face it, mom can be a little over bearing at times. I think back to those days and a part of me is grateful they have morphed into versions of themselves they can call their own individual ones.
My oldest is going through a stage whereby he wants to dress to impress, he will wear dress shirts perfectly pressed and belts to go to school just because. On some days he even invents fashion items and cuts up old pieces of clothing too. He’s always said he will one day be a fashion designer, perhaps it is his calling. While most parents would argue that this is a good thing, I find myself doing the opposite. I had imagined him to be fashionable and clean of course, but I just thought he would be more laid back when it came to wearing things. I see other boys his age wearing track suits and sometimes repeating outfits because that’s just what they do at that age… I mean, who actually wants their child to dress like a nerd? I have concluded, if he can rock it then who am I to judge.
Fashion seems to be an extension of bias anyhow, we morph into versions of people we see on the televison, walking the runways and idolizing magazine models who set the tone as to who we should be. If we all fit that straight narrow line then we wouldn’t ever have artistic expression. My oldest son has taught me this, it is far harder to walk into a room and make a statement then it is to blend, why would anyone want to be set in the background in life. Kinda makes me wish I was slightly more daring and sure of myself – no more cringing when he comes down the stairs with his pants hiked up and shirt tucked into his tight jeans. I’m not the one wearing it – he is, and he was meant to stand out.
My youngest is the polar opposite, we argue daily about wearing even the slightest bit of colour or even putting jeans on – for him this is his battle. He is the laid back, tshirt and jogging pants kinda guy -you’d think any parent would adore this type of fashion choice but the truth is, I would love to see him in some skinny jeans or a polo shirt every once and a while. Yes, I have separate wants for each of my boys perhaps simply because they don’t fit the image I had created for them in my head at birth. For this boy I can relate, the fitting into the rest of the world is just easier for some. It brings comfort and calm to him and for that I applaud him – some people show their creativity in other ways and don’t need fashion in the forefront.
I know what you are thinking, if I have two very different children then why the stress when it comes to their style sense? Ever hear the saying, ‘you want what you don’t have’? Insert that here. Trust me, I have chosen not to fight it and embrace whatever fashion choices they want to make as long as they aren’t poking holes in random places or tattooing their faces then I’m good for now.
Yes, every time I have seen something I personally don’t like on the boys I kinda die a little inside…but I need to remember that everyday is a new day, bottom line they are just clothes. I conclude that no matter what style your child comes up with, it must be embraced and celebrated because after all they are not leaving the house naked – and that is a true accomplishment.
Moms (and dads) if they are wearing clothes then celebrate it!
